Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Feelings are neither good nor bad – they just are

Marjorie Scaffa, Ph.D.
Marjorie Scaffa, Ph.D., health and wellness counselor at the University of South Alabama College of Medicine, discusses ways that medical students and others can deal with their emotions.

This pandemic has left many of us dealing with a multitude of emotions we may have never experienced before. We may have no idea what to do with them, or even what they are. As medical students, I am guessing that most of you are worried – worried about what your academic journey is going to look like moving forward, worried about when you will get to see patients again, worried about what your Step score will be now that you’re stuck in a “holding pattern” waiting for testing centers to open, worried about where you letters of recommendation will come from, worried that you’ll lose your skills/knowledge, worried about what this means for you.

And then maybe you feel guilty for feeling this way. You might feel awful for considering your feelings in a time when the whole world is going through the worst health crisis we’ve experienced in over 100 years. You may start to question if you are cut out to be a doctor because you’re thinking about yourself and your educational journey. Or maybe you’re feeling super frustrated with being sidelined right now. You don’t understand why you can’t get in the “game” and help out. You feel ready, you feel healthy and capable of doing something to lend a hand. As a result, you may be feeling helpless. Isolated. Confused. You are not alone.

Guess what? It’s okay not to be okay. It is important to understand that in this time, grief is a normal and acceptable reaction.

At times like this, it is easy to focus on negative outcomes, and we can easily get overwhelmed with the “what ifs” and the worst-case scenarios. This causes our primitive brains to feel unsafe and clouds our judgment and emotions. So what do you do? How do you deal with all of this?

First, it is important to feel the emotions. Recognize them. Give them their time and space. Emotions must move. When they do not “move” they get “stuck” and lead to negative outcomes – depression, unhealthy levels of anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Experience your emotions.

Then focus on the present – not when on-campus classes or clerkships will start again, not Sept. 15, not beyond that. Focus on the present – the day you are in. Take a deep breath. Feel the air come into your lungs. Name five things you see right now. Name four things you can feel. Name a sound you hear. Focus on the now. Then recognize that you have the ability to accept your emotions and manage them.

And while you’re at it, turn your focus to what you can control. That might be making a nice lunch or volunteering for a hotline. Or it might be turning off the computer/putting down your cell phone because you just don’t feel like seeing what Karen is up to with all of her amazing free time and her ceaseless energy while in quarantine. And for goodness sake, do NOT feel bad about giving yourself some time to process your emotions (or for not being like Karen. Sometimes you do NOT have to be the most productive person in the world, even if you are holed up in your apartment all day, every day). You may be tempted to say to yourself, “I should not be feeling bad right now; there are so many others who have it way worse than me.” Instead, say to yourself, “I am going to give myself 20 minutes to feel this sadness” and then move on.

One strategy to identify, experience, and manage emotions effectively is expressive writing or journaling. Research has shown that expressive writing improves both physical and mental health. Many of you may already have a history of journaling, while others may have never tried it. Expressive writing is easy. You just write about something that is bothering you. Writing for as little as 5 to 10 minutes can dramatically change the way you are thinking and feeling.

If you struggle to get started, here are some writing prompts that may help.
  • How is the COVID-19 pandemic affecting you and the people around you?
  • How is it related to other significant experiences in your life?
  • How are you dealing with feelings such as anxiety and loneliness?
  • How are your social world and friendships changing due to COVID-19?
  • How are you handling the changes in physical and social distance?
  • How are you handling the disruptions to your medical education?
  • Recognizing that many of the changes caused by COVID-19 pandemic are out of your control, what aspects of your life do you have control over and how can you maximize your control in these areas?
  • How has this pandemic affected your thoughts and feelings about becoming a physician and healthcare in general?
  • How might you take advantage of this time to reflect on your relationships, purpose in life, spirituality, goals, values, etc.?
For more information on expressive writing during the pandemic, go to
http://exw.utpsyc.org/#tests.

Let me know how I can help. I am currently providing virtual counseling online in 15-, 30- or 60-minute time blocks. Call (251) 460-7051 or email mscaffa@southalabama.edu to make an appointment.